taejira:

bigjaeger:

a support group for vampires who were turned as children or adolescents. a bunch of small, melancholy kid-shaped vampires sitting around in somebody’s living room talking very seriously in tiny voices about current events in the vampire world. a lot of them dress like grandmas because they are as old as a grandma, maybe even ten grandmas. they have a network system where they can call adult-looking vampires to help them get things, drive places, pretend to be parents so child-looking vampires can get into adult movies 

#two vampire friends of the same chronological age #but one was turned at age 11 and the other at age 40 #they pretend to be parent and child but they’re actually more like bickering elderly roommates #bickering elderly roommates who are serial killers

kinkshamer69:

i wonder if my pets have like a proper language and when i try to speak back to them im just speaking jargon

like for example my cat always speaks to me when I come home and i meow back to her and she’ll meow again & even though i don’t think twice about it to her it’s probably a situation where it’s like

her, meowing: “im glad you’re home”

me, meowing back: “tax benefits”

her, meowing: “why do u always do this”

randomthingieshere:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

forthefuns:

follow forthefuns for more funny stuff

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Your honor! Please direct your attention towards the manga.

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As you can see there are small pieces of paper sticking out of every volume.

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But no such paper is sticking out of the Batman comic.

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The reason? The Batman book doesn’t belong to the library. The photographer put it there to take a picture.

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Once again making hasty assumptions, Wright?

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First of all, I’d like to direct the court’s attention to this particular spot, in the top right-hand corner.

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Notice how the words are blocking the top of the Batman book.

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With this in mind, how can you claim that there is “no such paper sticking out of the Batman comic”?!

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Say whaaaat?

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Well uhm

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Look at the size of the paper pieces, they’re all sticking pretty far out.

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If there was paper in the batman comic, it would be big enough to stick up over the text.

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And while gravity does exist, it probably won’t make the paper do a 90 degree turn and just lean horisontally left at the middle.

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Still grasping for straws, Wright?

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Hypothetically, if there were a paper there, this picture would not be able to prove its presence. I’ve taken the liberty of drawing a diagram to illustrate my point. We are faced with three possibilities. It is possible that (1) the paper was simply tucked in deeper than the others.

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Paper is a soft material, Wright. It’s not unreasonable for it to do a (2) 90 degree turn. 

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Or perhaps, (3) a paper does not exist there at all. 

Either way, you cannot prove your client innocent without sufficient evidence.  

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Which, of course, is impossible thanks to the obtrusive words.

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I’m sorry Edgeworth.

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I concede that I can’t disprove theory 1

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But the image you submited for theory 2 is contradictory.

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Look at the tilt of the other papers. They clearly prove how much the paper would tilt.

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And theory 3 is my point! Why would the library’s book not have this piece of paper when the other library books do?

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While you still have thory 1, there is another contradiction.

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The books are not in alphabetical order, this proves that the batman comic was placed there specifically for the picture!

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Ack.

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(Perhaps I should’ve left the artistry to the forensic artist…)

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Now hold it right there! It doesn’t matter which direction the paper is going because it’s impossible to prove it even exists!

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Those theories are all the same! We do not have enough information to prove them. There could be an infinite amount of papers in there for all we know. I simply presented them only so that the court could better understand your baseless conjecture!

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… I suppose the order of the books do seem out of the ordinary. However, therein lies not just one possibility. Clearly, those are Japanese graphic novels, also known as “manga”. And the Batman comic book is a graphic novel, too, no?

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Seeing as it currently has only graphic novels in the shelf, it is possible that any other novels have simply not yet been restocked. Asserting whether or not this effect was deliberate is useless– there is no way of knowing if the photographer and the captioner are the same person, let alone their involvement in this picture.

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Face it Wright, you can’t prove any of these groundless accusations!

Did everyone just ignore the library sticker?

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edgebug:

burdenedwithgloriousassbutt:

micdotcom:

Watch: This whole interview is honestly so refreshing

I love this. And it looks like Mark totally knows what they’re doing and he’s slightly proud. 

You know that post going around that says one of the Chrises should take all the sexist questions directed toward Scarlett? And how Ruffalo saw that post and said “I’m in” or something like that?

Yeah, he’s putting his money where his mouth is. He’s taking the sexist questions meant for Scarlett

God I love this man

emphasisonthehomo:

Oh hay so, nifty tip for dealing w/ invasive irrational thoughts. 

Pretend Spock is standing by your shoulder telling you it’s “illogical” or some shit. 

Getting invasive thoughts that everyone you know secretly hates you? Spock is there to be all “That is statistically improbable Captain, several of your friends have told you many times that they enjoy your company.” 

Paranoid that you’re going to get hit by a car every time you walk by a road? Spock is walking beside you, calmly explaining that “You are mostly like not going to be hit by a car. You’re walking on the sidewalk, and there are no cars in sight.” 

Is someone not messaging you back right away, and part of you is terrified that they’re dead in a ditch somewhere? Spock is there to be all “Captain, your friend is currently at work. They’re probably helping a customer, not dead.” 

Seriously, I spend a lot of time pretending that Spock is blandly telling me why all of my irrational, invasive, and paranoid thoughts probably aren’t true. 

“Spock, someone’s watching me.” 

“Captain, you are alone in your apartment. Everything is fine.” 

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