Hagrid, what are you doing here? Where’s — James — and Lily?
Peter. Wah! Harry? I can take him. I’m his godfather! Dumbledore says he goes to Lily’s sister. Man, seriously? FUCK Dumbledore!
I’m his legal guardian. I can’t. He needs me! I can’t lose him, I’m all he has. I’m so sorry… Hagrid, give me Harry. Please don’t make me. Sirius, no! Stupefy.
Shit. Hey kid. Let’s go. Dear Remus, First: I apologize. Second: I kidnapped Harry. HELP. Don’t tell the order. -Padfoot
draco: potter… potter is it true you fainted? you actually fainted?
ron: shove off malfoy
draco: shut up i’m checking on my boyfriend bby you okay do you want father to sue the train
I like how the only reason Harry is able to fight the imperious curse so easily is because it hits him and he’s like “Ah I feel calm and relaxed and happy…this is wrong.”
What if instead of gilly weed Harry had showed up to the black lake challenge in muggle scuba gear like “like where’s your advanced magic now bitches? Got me a free fishing knife with this thing”
Honestly I just want an AU where Harry approached all his magical problems with muggle solutions. Nobody knows how to handle it because he’s supposed to be there learning magic but you know what, it fucking works.
Give me Harry Potter who is like fucking MacGuyver up in this shit, creating his own non-magical solutions to magical problems.
“Potter how did you get past the enchanted keys to the Sorcerer’s Stone?”
“I used a fucking net.”
“How did you get past the dragon?”
Harry shines a little red light on the wall “works on cats, why not a dragon”
“How did you get through the hedge maze?”
“Weed-b-gone, it’s like a pound. Nothing will ever grow there again”
It’s the final battle between Harry and Voldemort. The Dark Lord begins to prepare a spell to end Harry Potter’s life once and for all when….
Because Why Not? 