kyleehenke:

fivetail:

mobiusnook:

Have Fun, Shippers!

Apathy

An Absence of involvement in the entire troll romance system. Only applies to non-non trolls.

Matespriteship Flushed

Involves two people who have positive feelings of affection for each other. Often involves sexual or reproductive activity.

Unspriteism F/F/F/A

When the main troll in a spriteship is forced out of it by the friend group that they themselves have founded.

Spriteship Flushed/Flushed/Ashen

When one is in a Spriteship, they surround themselves with multiple Matesprite candidates, but does not reproduce with anyone. What a tease.

Triospritism F/F/A/F/A

When a group is gathered around the spectacle of a particularly ravenous Auspisticism.

Matespicism Flushed/Ashen

A situation where two otherwise indifferent people begin to have flushed feelings for one another, under the encouragement or force of a third individual.

Alpha Duostorgiation F/A/F/A/A/F

One of the two Duostorgiation final results. In this result, the relationship of the monitors becomes more flushed as the relationship of the second couple becomes more violent.

Duostorgiation Flushed/Ashen/Ashen/Flushed

Similar to a Storgiation, except instead of a relationship growing under pressure, the relationship will grow when love is encouraged in others. The success of the Duostorgiating trolls is directly affected by how successful the relationship that they encourage turns out to be.

Beta Duostorgiation F/A/A/F/A/F

In the second Duostorgiation, the relationship of the monitoring couple becomes more flushed as the second couple’s relationship becomes more flushed.

Storgiation Ashen/Flushed

Two people work together to resolve conflict and find themselves developing red feelings for one another. This relationship can fade easily, and can sometimes only be strengthened when put under a pressure comparable to the one that instigated it.

Spewterism A/F/A/F/A

The opposite of a Scalemateship. This is when the monitor of an Auspisticism begins to have flushed feelings for both of the other trolls involved. These two trolls must decide how to respond to their monitor’s redrom persuasion.

Scalemateship Ashen/Flushed/Ashen

A very rare time when an Auspistice finds both of their monitored enemies flushed for them. The Monitor must now choose which of their courtiers they will continue on with and which one they will kill. If they do not kill either of the violent lovers, the two may develop an Infinism.

Polyscalemateship A/F/F/A

When the members of two separate Auspisticisms become violent with each other, a third Auspisticism must step in to be the monitor. The monitor of the monitoring Auspisticism is usually put under intense pressure. Nicknamed ‘The Inception’

Auspisticism Ashen

A scenario where a mediator is required to keep a relationship between two people civil and avoid bloodshed.

Metabollegiance A/A/A/C

Surrounding trolls are naturally drawn to this central troll.

Chromership Ashen/Ashen/Caliginous

When an Auspistice becomes unreliable, an additional Auspistice may become involved in order to monitor the original Auspistice. This is usually done to avoid the development of Infinisms or Scalemateships.

Crosscorosion A/A/C/A/C

Where a Kismesissitude constantly vicilliates between stability and requirement of an Auspistice

Clovership Ashen/Caliginous

A delicate balance in which the four participating individuals harbour a strong hatred for the other three. Together, the relationship is made stable and civil. If a participant is removed from the Clovership, relationships can progress to Kismesissitude unless a mediator becomes involved or the Clovership is re-completed.

Carcatuition A/C/A/C/C/A

When a troll causes ambient conflicts in all surrounding trolls.

Counter-ClovershipAshen/Caliginous/Caliginous/Ashen

A counter clovership is the opposite of a clovership. It is a group of four trolls who, while usually very friendly or indifferent, will become extremely vicious and violent when the full Counter Clovership comes together. While the members of a Clovership must be kept together, the members of a Counter Clovership must be kept apart at all costs.

Flagism A/C/C/A/C/A

Where a troll can only seem to have romantic feelings for other trolls of a similar caste.

Infinism Caliginous/Ashen

A form of Kismesissitude, but the people involved can only have a successful black relationship if constant intervention is involved. Otherwise, their hate is so strong that they will take any opportunity to murder their Infinist.

Infimoaillegiance C/A/C/A/C

Where four trolls are compelled by fate to become an Infimositude.

Infimositude Caliginous/Ashen/Caliginous

An Infinimositude is an extremely rare and very volatile series of events. The two hateful enemies that make up an Infinism will find themselves monitored by the members of a completely different Infinimositude. The result is something not that different from a clovership. Two pairs of trolls who hate the other troll in their pair have to keep the members of the other pair from killing each other. This results in either a brutal bloodbath or a mysterious harmony.

Voidance C/A/C/A

The Absense of any romantic persuasion in a troll. Can be romantically occurring or the result of a Counter Philiasma.

Kismesissitude Caliginous

A mixture of of mutual sexual attraction and hate. Leads to reproduction.

Gladiem C/C/C/P

When a troll is hypnotised or contractually forced into a relationship.

Descellegiance Caliginous/Caliginous/Pale

Many trolls that are part of a Kissmelegiance are actually part of a Descellegiance. This is when, due to the placebo effect, two trolls will become Kismesissitude because they believe that they are a Kissmelegiance. Unlike a Kissmelegiance which can be long and drawn out, these are short and violent, but they are also stoppable. When these two trolls are convinced that they are in a Descellegiance, they will be able to end their Kismesissitude. However, it is often hard to tell the difference between a potent Kissmelegiance and a light Descellegiance.

Literositude C/C/P/C/P

A troll who is attracted to fictional characters, and can only fulfil sexual desires through fictional literature. This is a quadrant that is prominent in cherubs.

Kissmelegiance Caliginous/Pale

A troll in a Kissmelegiance is compelled by fate to make an enmity with the other participant. This can progress to Kismesissitude or Infinism.

Sedatespriteship C/P/C/P/P/C

A relationship where a troll is the Matesprite or Kismesiss of another troll, without the second troll’s knowledge.

Double Agency Caliginous/Pale/Pale/Caliginous

A Double Agency is when two trolls, who have flushed feelings for one another, both pretend to have black feelings. This tends to happen when the personalities clash, usually competitive trolls. Usually, both trolls will suspect that the other actually has flushed feelings for them but neither is willing to reveal themselves in case their suspicions are wrong.

Interagency C/P/P/C/P/C

A relationship that begins with powerful love but slowly dulls to hate over time.

Erosissitude Pale/Caliginous

The two trolls are compelled by fate to constantly and simultaneously vacilliate, but are both on opposite ends of the spectrum. When one troll feels extreme red feelings, the other will express loathing. They both usually vacilliate at the same moment, meaning that they will never be able to have a stable and reproductive relationship. 

N-way Moirallegiance P/C/P/C/P

A Moirallegiance with an unprecedented number of trolls. Usually ends with one or many Kismesissitudes.

Insurgence Pale/Caliginous/Pale

An Insurgence is a group of four Moiralls that each feel a powerful romantic and protective love for one another that is harmonious and will not end with bloodshed between the Insurgents. However, they are all destined never to have sex or any form of troll reproduction.

Auspinsurgence P/C/P/P

Two sets of Moiralls clash and require a monitor to keep them safe. There I sthe possibility that these two sets of Moiralls are themselves Moiralls. While trolls A and B are Moiralls, and trolls C and D are moiralls, Moirallegiances AB and CD also become moiralls.

Moirallegiance Pale

A couple encouraged by fate to protect one another and ensure stability in the other troll/person’s life.

Stabbance P/P/P/F

If someone is a stabbance, they are a troll that has a fate-given gift of destroying the relationships of others.

Constituency Pale/Pale/Flushed

A Constituency is when one troll in a pair believes that they are the Moirall of another troll, but the second troll does not think that this is a Moirallegiance.

Matestituency P/P/F/P/F

A barrier by fate or destiny that completely blocks two trolls from having a relationship.

Stituency Pale/Flushed

A couple that is formed by defying fate. This can be done by destroying a Moirallegiance in order to form a new relationship or by turning A Kismelegiance into a Moirallegiance. 

Webship P/F/P/F/F/P

A relationship that can only remain stable when it takes place online. This can function through pesterlogs or trollian.

Envelopment Pale/Flushed/Flushed/Pale

An Envelopment is when a troll intentionally does not reveal their true feelings on who they have powerful red or black feelings for, because they do not want to cause conflict with an existing Matesprite or Kismesiss.

Masquerade P/F/F/P/F/P

A Masquerade is when two trolls can only have a stable relationship through roleplay.

Philiasma Flushed/Pale

A Philiasma is when, due to outside intervention, a Kissmelegiance or Erosissitude is broken. When a Moiraillegiance is formed, it becomes unbreakable. The status of this love becomes unconditional and cannot do anything but grow stronger.

Fatespriteship F/P/F/P/F

A scenario in which a trolls A and B are in a Kismesissitude, C and D are in a Matespriteship. Both of these relationships are destroyed, sometimes by a Stabbance. A will pair with C or D and B will pair with the troll that A does not pair with.

Counter Philiasma Flushed/Pale/Flushed

This is a situation that is just as rare, if not more rare than an Infimositude, because when one person in a Philiasma dies, the other usually commits suicide immediately. However, when the living troll does not kill themselves, they will always withdraw from the troll romance system entirely and have feelings only of depression and apathy until they die.

Laytherithm F/P/F/F

When troll A is flushed for troll B, but troll B is black for troll A and flushed for troll C. Troll C Is black for troll B and flushed for troll D. Troll D is black for troll C and flushed for troll E. There is a possibility of the Laytherithm linking into a circle, where Troll E would be flushed for troll A but troll A would be black for troll E, or they can end on their own.

WE DIDN’T NEED TO GO DEEPER.

gummy-worm-nihilism:

pettyartist:

sleepingwithpiercethemice:

serotonical:

How to break out of a zip-tie- potentially life-saving information

You guys, please share it. You never know when someone is going to need this information.

PLEASE reblog this— zipties are one of the most common ways of binding a person upon kidnapping because they are cheap and hard to break.

Knowing things like this puts you one step closer to freedom if, heaven forbid, you fall into a situation where you need to use this information.

its like 50 seconds everybody should watch

calming starter sentences

“Its okay, I’m here.”
“I’m not going to leave you.”
“Everything is okay.”
“I’m going to protect you.”
“I believe in you.”
“Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that.”
“You’ll be alright, no one can hurt you now.”
“You’re not going to lose me.”
“I love you.”
“I’ll stay right here, okay?”
“Just breathe.”
“I’m okay, you’re okay, we’re okay.”
“You’re everything to me.”
“I don’t care what they think, to me, you are perfect.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“You don’t have to be alone.”

homestuckpatternreference:

iamthesylveon:

f-e-f-e-t-a-c-a-k-e-s:

gryphynshadow:

silencingthedrums:

zeaky:

sliceofbri:

DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET

SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS

GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS 

AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE.

I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO

WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU

I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS

DO NOT DO THIS.

DO NOT DO THIS.

DO NOT DO THIS.

NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK.

There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them.

The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi)

You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted.

Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint.

Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old paintings slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color.

BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible.

Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.)

so what you’re saying is

i could buy a fuckton of grey crayns

and have grey body paint

i think i know where that’s going

i think we all know where that’s going

Kawoshin Doujinshi Masterpost

failhistorian:

I made a kawoshin doujin masterpost for all you lovely people! I know there’s another masterpost but I checked and it’s not completely up-to-date, so here you guys go.

Everything is separated by translated, untranslated and continuity. If you know any other doujin that isn’t listed here or anything that is listed wrongly then feel free to tell me.

Remember to always read the warnings (if they are available) and support the artists if possible!

Read More

acapellapacifist:

simchiller:

smile-cause-life-is-beautiful:

fweeble:

gryphynshadow:

littlemissbatterwitch:

clothoboorocracy:

stormybabe:

I have to say this is completely legit – someone tried to steal her handbag and she simply went “Fuck this- *suplex*”

My hero

someone teach me this pweeze-ooc

Ok Ladies, here’s the info on this move.

We are blessed with a low center of gravity. This means that when we get ahold of someone and tip over backward like that, it’s easy peasy for us to do. Especially on a guy. Think of it like a fulcum and lever: they’re the lever, we’re the fulcrum, and because their center of gravity is up in their chest, instead of in their pelvis, when we get down low and lean back, whupsy there they tip right over.

Now, here’s the real deal on that particular move. Check out how this gif end, with the guy’s head on the floor like that? How his torso seems straight up and down, his head and neck on the floor, all his body weight and the momentum of having been tossed over her shoulder?

Yeah, he’s pretty messed up from that. In the really real world, if you do that move correctly, toss your whole body into it, seriously oomph it up and give that mugger a throw, you can snap his neck.

All that said, here’s how you do it!

This is something you do fast, ladies. Move quickly and with assurance, and don’t worry about whether you’re strong enough to do it or not: you are. This is about physics, not muscle.

Get low, bend your knees and hips. Our strength is largly concentrated in our lower bodies, and when we put our knees and thighs into a move, we bring some of the largest muscles in the human body to bear. You’d be surprised what you can move with your legs.

When she got low on him, her right arm was around his waist, her shoulder roughly at or under his ass, her left arm wrapped around his left leg. Feet shoulder width apart for a nice stable base, big deep breath in, and lift just a bit while falling backwards. It doesn’t take much strength but it will really mess with the dude’s day. Landing on your head will at the very very least knock you silly for a minute.

Interestingly, we can use these same basic principles to ruin a guy’s day if he’s the one to grab us! Imagine, if you will, mugger dude runs up behind you and bear hugs you in preparation for dragging you into the alley. Scary, right? Yep.

If he lifts you too fast, and you find your feet off the ground, kick him in the shins, scrape your shoes down his legs, aim for the knees and his feet. Toss your head back and head butt him. Bite him. Squirm. Do what it takes to get your feet back on the ground.

Feet on the ground, grab his arms and hold on to them. Don’t let him get away, because this move, ladies, will put him down and out, and if he moves away he may go for a distance weapon, or start using his fists. Hold onto his arms and keep him in close.

Again, feet shoulder width apart. Use your booty and hips now, like you’re trying to hit his not-so-manly bits with your ass, get your hips back, bend your knees and flex your hips. If he’s shortish, you should at this point have picked him up and be balancing him on your back. If he’s tall, you’re now in position to put a crimp in his style in a big way.

Tuck your head to your chest and roll forward, just like you did when you were a kid. Flip yourself forward and let gravity do the rest. You will have your head tucked down, aiming to land on the upper back of one shoulder; he won’t. This means he’ll land on his face, with the full force of his own body weight behind it as well as any momentum you’ve built up. You may very well land on top of him too.

From here, get up, run like hell towards a light source while yelling “help, fire, call 911 (or whatever emergency services number exists in your country)”

Remember, ladies, with just a little understanding of comparative anatomy and physics, you too can put a man on the ground and seriously mess up his day. But then, that’s what he was planning to do to you, so fair’s fair.

Reblogging again because of Gryphyn’s awesome comment. C:

All women NEED to know this. REBLOG AND YOU CAN SAVE A LIFE

Freshest.

REBLOGGING BECAUSE THIS CAN SAVE A LIFE AND HOT damn I WILL USE THIS INFO