seriousblck:

eeames:

I just want a fic where Stiles accidentally finds out about Derek’s secret career as a harlequin romance novel cover model, and proceeds to scour all used bookstores to buy ALL THE COPIES with Derek’s rippling torso (or headshot with soft, soft stubble; or the one of him in an apron; or the one of him as a stay home dad; omg all the ones of him with a baby; and definitely the one of him in the barn, tending to the horses). And then Allison discovers them and they giggle about it together and sit in Stiles’s room reading. And Scott gets suspicious of all the afternoons Allison is “busy” but will not tell him why. And Derek is suspicious because both Stiles and Allison sport healthy blushes around him because they both imagine him as the proTAGONIST IN ALL THE NOVELS.

Stiles slams through Scott’s front door, eyes wide and hands jittery.

“Scott? Scott, dude, oh my god you need to see this. Scott!” Stiles turns into the living room, nearly knocking over the table lamp with his bag. Expecting to see Scott lounging on the couch as usual, he’s disappointed to find that he’s no where to be seen.

“Stiles?” Allison’s voice drifts in from the kitchen. He follows it, finds her surrounded by an amusing combination of criminology textbooks and bridal magazines.

“What are you doing here?” Her voice is sleepy and he wonders how much sleep she’s getting, decides he really doesn’t want to know.

“Um, I wanted to show Scott something but I guess he’s not here?” He shifts awkwardly in front of the kitchen table. He’s not sure whether he wants to sit or take off. Things between he and Allison are still tense sometimes, usually when they’re without the always sunny buffer that Scott provides. He shrugs and sits anyway.

She shakes her head at him. “Is it important or..?”

“Not really, I just had something to show him. Where is he anyways? I’d think he’d be home by now, He always gets out of Friday classes before me.”

Allison stares at him, lips slightly pursed and eyes searching his face.

“He’s at the library cramming for finals. What exactly did you need to show him?”

“Oh, shit, yeah,” he says, rifling through his backpack. “Okay so, I was at the bookstore, trying to find this stupid book for my American Lit. class- seriously, that dick chose the most obscure book he could to fuck with us- and I was digging through the bargain bin figuring that maybe it’d be in there when I found this.” 

He rips a thick paperback out and slams it on the table, pushing it towards Allison. “Tell me that that’s not Derek. Because, really, if it is, I might have to reevaluate everything I’ve ever thought about him.”

Allison picks up the book gently and stares hard at it. She couldn’t tell you anything about the book because her eyes fall straight to the man on the cover. He’s lounging back and staring off to the side, shirt falling open to reveal his impressive chest. He’s Derek. 

“Oh my god.” Allison’s jaw falls.

“Right! I don’t even know if I can-“

She cuts him off. “Have you read it yet?”

“What, no. I mean, not much. Like, not even four chapters. Why?”

He stares hard at her and she just grins back mischievously.

“I’ll go get my Kindle.”

They spend the rest of the night reading the book together, giggling like teenagers over the “naughty parts”. They finish right as Scott walks through the front door. He asks what they’ve been doing to get them so flushed and they both burst out laughing. Allison walks Stiles to the door when Scott goes to take a shower, hugs him and kisses on the cheek in farewell.

—-

Stiles gets a text from Allison in the middle of his Ancient Cultures lecture a week later. It’s a simple There’s more. with an attached picture of four more books featuring Derek.

He texts back a quick my place? and puts his phone back in his lap. It vibrates a minute later.

i’ll be there @5 with snacks. pick up some wine.

—-

Over the next month, their little two person book club becomes a standing date. Every Thursday when Allison and Stiles get out of class early they gather at Stiles’ apartment with snacks and wine and whatever books they had been able to scrounge up. It’s nice and they both find themselves looking forward to each Thursday.

Scott gets suspicious.

Granted, it’s really not his fault. All of a sudden, his girlfriend is AWOL every Thursday, reluctant to tell him where she’s been. (Really, how do you tell your boyfriend that you’ve been reading romance novels with his best friend and giggling over the fact that you both end up picturing Derek as the hero? You don’t. It’s awkward.) So, he mopes and worries and maybe one night he ends up on Stiles’ couch eating greasy pizza and watching sad movies and not crying at all because he’s terrified he’s losing Allison. But really, Stiles tells him, he’s got it on good authority that Allison would never, ever cheat on him, especially since she’s planning on marrying the dude.

It still gets pretty bad.

But it’s nowhere near as bad as Derek gets. Derek, who is a freaking romance novel model; Derek, who neither Allison nor Stiles can look in the eye because they both picture him as the lead male. Constantly. Derek who, right now, is red faced and growling in the middle of Stiles room as he glares at the now impressive pile of books stacked in the corner near Stiles’ dresser.

“How?”

“How? How, what? Y’know that’s a really vague question, dude. You gotta be mo-” Derek cuts Stiles’ off with a hand covering his mouth. Stiles’ can hear Allison’s gasping laughter from the bed where she hides her face in his pillows. Traitor.

“How in the hell did you find them?” Derek spits out.

“Dude, you do realize they sell those books. To like, the public. You can’t blame us for finding them,” Stiles says after Derek releases him. The werewolf grunts and scowls, face burning red up to his ears. 

They stand there, both staring at the books, only the sound of Allison’s slowly calming breath filling the room.

“So, Derek,” Allison says, straight-faced. “What was your favorite cover: Coming Undone or Extra Innings?”

Stiles tries, he really does. 

He falls into the bed, roaring laughter joining Allison’s high giggles. Derek stalks out of the room with a growl and a parting, “I hate you guys.”